From Loneliness To Strength
Let us look at Esther in order to find the place within ourselves that can help us always
see -- like she did -- beyond the exterior facade that calls itself "reality."
Her father died while her mother was still pregnant with Esther; her mother died at her
birth. Thus, she came into this world with the gaping wound of belonging to no one. Her uncle Mordechai,
who later became her spiritual guide, took her in. The circumstances of her birth were no coincidence. Alienation and loneliness
are Yahveh's tools, and are given to us to enable us to become who we can be. It was from that place of emptiness that Esther's
profound attachment to Yahveh blossomed. Esther means "concealment." Her name articulated her very
essence -- the ability to pierce the walls of concealment and find her Savior where others could not.
We often are deceived by the mysterious nature of our interactions with God. He seemingly
does not react when we go off the path. We are not stricken down by lightning when we make bad choices. Similarly,
we do not find ourselves suddenly better off when we choose wisely. The wicked seem to prosper and the
righteous seems to exist with the same constraints as all the rest.
This is how it seems, of course, if we don't commit ourselves to penetrating the surface.
Esther was a master at breaking through the walls that surrounded her. This was her weapon that she had taught herself in
her years of solitude and yearning. Esther learned to see her Creator's Hand wherever she looked.
She saw Him as her Parent and she let His presence be her guide.
We all have our empty places. Rather than allowing them to lead us towards bitterment,
let us use them as a ladder.
Like A Myrtle Tree
Esther had an additional name -- Hadassah, which in Hebrew means 'myrtle'. Let us
look into the nature of the Hadassah more closely to gain insight into Esther's nature, and ultimately into our own. Hadas
is one of the four species used to remind us of Yahveh on Succot. The etrog (citron) is shaped like and symbolizes the
heart, the lulav (palm branch), the spine, the aravah (willow), the lips, and the hadas are the eyes. Esther's
eyes could see inner reality as clearly as our eyes see external reality. Her name was not random, but
rather it was the ultimate description of her strongest quality.
The leaves of the myrtle are uniform and green ~ inconspicuous and
humble, but her modest image embodied an internal strength. The greater our focus
on the uniqueness of our external identity (age, appearance, culture) the more separate we are from our internal identity.
It is our quiet nature that bonds our hearts and minds.
The Rabbis tell us that Esther, like the Hadassah, was 'green'. Green
is made up of two primary components -- blue and yellow. Blue symbolizes coolness and yellow symbolizes warmth. Esther's inner light was a composite of the fiery sun-like passion and the cooling nurture of water. Because she developed
her own spirituality, she could reach out to others and connect with them. 'Greenness' was the spiritual symbol of her
humility and sensitivity.
When we peel away the layers of glitz that are the remnants from Ahasueros' palace, we
find the part of us that can pierce through any armor, even our own. Then we will see Yahveh where
we never thought He could be found, in our hearts and in the day to day events that make up the tapestry of our
lives.
